Men get better looking as they get older, and women get worse, right? Women just go all saggy and wrinkled, whereas men ripen with time, and develop a sophisticated handsomeness.
Women can forget being attractive relatively early on. Unless of course, they find a way to look younger, in which case they’re back in the game, usually with some kind of fetishising tag like MILF, or maybe Cougar, if they decide to cement their place in the social circles of the younger folk by bagging themselves a toyboy. They can try looking younger through any form of pricey and / or painful body modification, from dying their hair to having chemicals shoved into their bodies or parts of said bodies sliced off. They can even give their ladygardens the beauty treatment: get waxed – a Hollywood will make you look like a child again, and it’ll only hurt a little bit to have all of your pubic hair pulled out at the root. Once all of that bothersome hair has gone, you’ll feel young again, but on the downside you’ll be able to see your ugly muff for what it really is. It’s ok though, you can get yourself on the phone to the next available surgeon who can give you a more permanent designer vagina. It’s worth it, because what could possibly be worse than displeasing your man in the bedroom with your scary fairy? Given how beautiful his eternally spritely manhood no doubt is, it’d be embarrassing for it to be seen with your haggard ladyhood.
Men become rugged, wise, more breathtakingly masculine. Younger women naturally flock to them, so there’s no need to think up a synonym for male ‘cougars’ – it’s so natural they don’t need a nickname. And DILF? There’s nothing surprising about a man old enough to be a father being attractive, so why waste our acronyms on highlighting that?
So, as an ode to men blossoming with age, I’ve drawn this picture, a celebration of hot old blokes.